As I scroll through my camera roll looking for pictures, I see thousands of my son, Thorin, at different stages of his life. I see him at birth, me holding him and then watching him take his first steps. I see photos of him learning to talk, to run and jump, counting numbers, tackling potty training, losing his first tooth, riding a bike, and more recently, learning to swim. I notice that I’m in every single picture, for all of those life moments. My goal as his father is to be there for every moment no matter what, just like the heavenly Father is for me. I don’t claim to be the best father, but I’m trying earnestly every day to teach him how to be a good person. I hope I can lead him to Christ one day, as I teach him about our heavenly Father.
When Thorin was born, I told him I would be there no matter what because I didn’t want him to go through life without his father as I did.
But, let me tell you how my life was changed because of my experiences at Big Oak Boys’ Ranch. My twin brother and I moved to the Ranch in 7th grade, needing a change in environment and someone to lead us down the right path. I didn’t know that I would become one of the luckiest children on the Ranch by being one of the first kids in Mike and Paige Tucker’s home. Growing up without your biological father is tough, but I was lucky that my housedad (Pop), Mike Tucker, was always there to show me the basics when I was young. The hardest parts of growing up were the teenage years and then becoming a young adult. The Ranch was a great place to grow up. There were fields for sports, a basketball court, two lakes to fish, and countless other activities that all young boys need in life, but there were rules for everyone to help set them on the right path. These rules and guidelines helped me grow into the man I am today: learning to do chores and doing them right the first time or doing them until they’re right, learning honorable habits from table etiquette to how you should treat a lady, caring about academics and changing your life’s path through setting goals, respecting every human being and supremely, respecting the Lord. These teachings provided training for fatherhood by modeling everything I needed to know in life so that, now, I am able to pass these qualities on to my child.
I was a lucky and blessed young man.
Each morning at the Ranch, my housemom would tickle my feet to wake me up. She knew I hated it, but she also knew that it would wake me up. My feet usually would hang off the bed anyway because I’m very tall. I would do my chores and come downstairs to my housedad laughing, singing, rambling on about something, and cooking one of his famous Pop Tucker breakfasts. We would eat his delicious meals, and he would lead us in Bible study. What a positive atmosphere every single morning, and what a great example of how everyone should start their day. Pop Tucker is passionate about everything he loves, and he loves to have a good time. He taught me so much growing up: how to bait a hook, how to skin a buck, how to string a weed eater, how to change tires and oil, and how to build every deck or wooden structure at the Ranch. Those are some of the most valuable and essential things I can remember from my childhood.
I learned so much from all of the housedads at Big Oak Ranch. They each had different skills and talents from basketball to irrigation.
Most importantly, they loved me.
I never really noticed what my Pop and all the other housedads were teaching me. I see now that they were teaching me and many others how to become good fathers by loving children who were not biologically theirs. My Pop taught me how to treat people well, how to respect the Lord, how to honor your wife, and best of all, how to love. He loved me even though he wasn’t my biological father and I also know that, to this day, he loves me still. We are lucky to have you in our lives, Mike Tucker. Every single day, I hope and strive to be a good father to Thorin like you are a good father to me.
Happy Father’s Day, Mike Tucker. We love you. John 15:9-17
The lucky one,
Dominic McMath
