When I was younger, no one could tell me that I wasn’t rich. Not because I had large amounts of money or wealth, but because of the love and care I received from my father, mother and family.
When I was 15 years old my family experienced a storm like no other. In one day, my world was turned upside down, and our household was torn apart. This was the day I misplaced my hope and lost my joy. It was the worst day of my life. I can’t help but become emotional when I think of this dark day.
Eventually, my mother was forced to give up our house because she could not maintain the bills on her single income. We moved into public housing, and I obtained a job at Chick-fil-A to help alleviate some of the financial burden. Although we were making it financially, my mother and I could not seem to get along. The stress from normal teenage girl issues, and the stress from the unfortunate events mentioned above, became too much to bear.
Although I attempted to talk to my mother and express my emotions, she responded by quoting scripture and would advise me to pray about my problems rather than talk to others about them. Because of unstable emotions at that time, I interpreted these responses as her being unconcerned and uninterested in what I was feeling. I could not understand why my mother did not care enough to comfort me. I learned later that my mother has Asperger’s Syndrome which makes it difficult for her to understand, interpret and respond to social and emotional issues. I also grew to realize that she was only giving me the advice she believed was best. Since she had found comfort in Jesus, she reminded me that He could comfort me as well.
Before realizing these things, however, I became angry and bitter and grew to resent her. I became defiant toward my mother, causing her to eventually reach out to my school guidance counselor for help. I was given an ultimatum to either lose my attitude or be sent to 13th Place (a home that accepts troubled youth). I couldn’t believe my mother even contemplated sending me away. In my mind, a move to that type of facility was not necessary. I was simply crying out for a listening ear and for someone to help me stabilize my emotions and cope. I didn’t see myself as troubled, but at this moment I knew that both my mother and I needed a change. I needed a chance.
I met a good friend, while working at Chick-fil-A, who told me about Big Oak Girls’ Ranch and what she told me seemed too good to be true. I couldn’t believe it when she told me the Ranch referred to their residents as their children, took them on family vacations, and paid for their education. I thought surely there was a catch, but my mother and I made the decision to move forward with the transition.
What I didn’t realize at the time is that Big Oak was much more than a group home for children. The front entrance says, “A Christian Home for Children Needing a Chance.” For me, it was a chance at a fresh start, a chance to make things right, a chance to set myself on the right track. I had a chance to change my direction, and I decided to take full advantage of each opportunity provided to me. I had the opportunity to receive counseling at Big Oak Ranch. Through the counseling, I was able to overcome depression and learned how to cope with and manage stress using healthy techniques. I also learned to budget and manage money and purchased my first car through their program. I was given the wonderful opportunity to get braces and undergo corrective jaw surgery for an underbite. I was also afforded the opportunity to attend Auburn University where I received my Bachelor’s Degree in Social Work. Before graduating and transitioning away from home (Big Oak Ranch), I was given the opportunity to mentor my younger sisters, and developed a small group to teach them how to carry themselves as young godly women, encourage them to stand up for what is right and uplift them to believe that they are jewels and can do anything they set their minds to. After graduation, my Big Oak family supported me as I married my wonderful husband and they gave me a beautiful wedding. They treated me as if I was truly their daughter, and every single detail was nothing short of exceptional. While at the Ranch I made unforgettable friends and memories; I felt loved and supported. All of the residents and staff felt like family to me and still do to this day.
I am truly grateful for my experience at Big Oak Ranch and am grateful for the lifelong friendships I made. I believe that the Lord placed the Ranch on Mr. John Croyle’s heart for children like me – those needing a chance, and I am so glad they followed God’s calling. I’ll always remember the promises he made to me, “I love you, I’ll never lie to you, I’ll stick with you until you’re grown, and there are boundaries; don’t cross them.” Big Oak Ranch will always have a place in my heart! I am grateful for all of the spectacular staff members and supporters that poured so much into me emotionally, spiritually, and financially during my time at Big Oak Ranch. I am proud to say that I am a Big Oak Girl and am eternally grateful that I was given the chance that I so desperately needed.
