A Life Changed: Terry Tilton

My parents divorced when I was very young. I don’t even remember the time they were together. My mother got custody of my older sister Tracey and me. She married a hard man who was physically abusive to me, leading to court which resulted in my father obtaining custody. Tracey was 13, and I was 5 at the time.

For the next couple of years, we moved from one motel to another. My sister got married when she was 16 years old. That left me with my dad as he kept a night shift job but continually made bad choices that ultimately led to alcoholism. I was often left to fend for myself. Looking back, I had no structure, no nurturing and zero guidance. If it would not have been for other guests at the motels where we stayed, I might not have had many meals either. I became very good at talking with others and making friends with motel guests who would take care of me. I began smoking at a very young age and spent days walking the streets, getting into lots of mischief wherever we stayed. Due to the amount of freedom I had, I did not like school. Teachers and school administration tried but I was constantly being sent home for breaking school policies. I fell behind and was on the brink of quitting school.

My sister’s husband worked for a company that did projects at the Boys’ Ranch so as he became more familiar with the Ranch, he shared information with my sister. She got in touch with me and said, “I want to take you somewhere this weekend, to a Boys’ Ranch in Gadsden.” The first perception that came to my mind was a detention center and I was not going. But my sister just continued to encourage me.

They drove me to the Boys’ Ranch on a Sunday morning in early spring 1988. I remember seeing the lakes, individual homes and horses. It was quiet and no one seemed to be there. There was a man outside one of the homes so we pulled up to talk with him. It happened to be Steve Franklin, the housedad at the Spradling Home. Pop Franklin talked with us about the Ranch and took us over to the office. As we waited in the sitting area, Pop Franklin was in one of the offices gathering what turned out to be an application for me.

Perhaps the memory that sticks with me the most is a photo that was hanging in the office. Looking at it, I said, “Who is that?” Pop Franklin responded, “You don’t know who that is?” I said, “No.” Pop said, “That is Jesus.” He did not force a conversation but simply talked about Jesus a bit. I felt so relaxed and comfortable and, as we left the Ranch that morning, I knew I wanted to go back. My sister began the application process and, during that time, my dad took a job in Florida leaving me in North Alabama with my mother. She did not have custody and was not going to take me to the Ranch, so my dad drove up from Florida to take me.

It was the Saturday before Easter, and I will never forget the feeling as we pulled back up to the Spradling Home; boys playing everywhere, and food being cooked for Easter Sunday celebrations. They showed my dad around, and we unpacked the small sack holding all that I had. Somehow, everything I needed was already there. For Easter that year Mom Franklin gave each of us neon tank tops and Jams shorts. We played with water guns, running all through the yard.

My first summer at the Ranch, I began tutoring 3 days a week as the staff helped me catch up educationally. Because of the tutoring, I was ready for 9th grade when school started that fall.

Everyone in my home participated in chores around the Ranch, and my housedad was beside us throughout each day. Plenty of times, Pop Franklin outworked us.

One of our house chores was planting and watering all the flower beds and trees. I remember when the oak trees were planted at the front entrance of the Boys’ Ranch. Every day my job was to make sure those trees were watered for 10 minutes. Each time I visit, I see how big those trees have grown and I am just glad I was part of it. I remember the fun of helping Mom Franklin in the kitchen and I am a great cook now because of that time. Mom Franklin’s homemade beef stroganoff was and continues to be my favorite meal. Having blueberry muffins before church every Sunday morning is another one of my favorite memories.

I came home from school one afternoon with all of the paperwork for Mom and Pop Franklin to read regarding the trade school and welding program I wanted to enter. Mom Franklin, knowing nothing about welding took my list and went to buy all of my welding supplies. That was a pivotal and meaningful moment, when my housemom brought home all of my welding gear. I didn’t even know how to weld but it was so exciting having my own gear. I still have my first welding hood that Mom Franklin bought for me. It’s in my office and pretty worn. People ask why I still have it. That is my first welding hood and I am so proud of it. I excelled through welding school and by my senior year, I had completed all of the curriculum for the welding program. I entered several competitions, winning for my school and on a regional level. Welding is now my career, one that has taken me all over the southeast as a Safety Manager and now an Operations Manager.  I have been blessed with the opportunity to mentor young welders, much like I was mentored by John and others at Big Oak.

The longer I lived at the Ranch the more I began to understand what it was like to trust adults. My Resource Parents, Jim and Patsy Burks, along with the influence of Larry Fuhrman through Westbrook Christian – they were so consistent with their presence, wisdom and love for me and my house brothers. They were the perfect support team Big Oak Ranch needed in raising me. Everyone’s love and involvement was stable and true.

My dad would come up for every appointed visit. My mother, who lived a lot closer, only saw me three times while I lived at Big Oak. As my mother passed, she shared that one of her greatest regrets was not visiting me more while I lived at the Ranch.

Thank you, Mr. John and Mrs. Tee. You opened a door for so many of us. Thank you to my sister, Tracey. You loved me enough to make sure I was safe. Thank you to my houseparents, Steve and DeLinda Franklin and the team that surrounded them. You guys introduced me to Christ and filled the Spradling Home, my home at Big Oak Ranch, with security, love, and lots of life lessons.

At Big Oak’s 45th Anniversary I walked into the remodeled Boys’ Ranch office as Brodie stood at the door welcoming everyone who walked in. I asked him about the picture of Jesus from all those years ago, and that picture of Christ now hangs in the foyer of my home as the first thing I see when I walk in the door and the last thing I see when I leave.

Life is full of surprises and troubles, and I have had my share. I have tried to live life without the values and work ethic that Big Oak instilled in me. But life never worked out until I went back to those roots.